cultivate connection

Share the love.

Cultivating connection is the intentional practice of noticing, nurturing, and deepening relationships—with God, with others, and within ourselves. It is accomplished through presence, authenticity, and openness, allowing for mutual growth, shared understanding, and a sense of belonging. True connection fosters empathy, strengthens community, and aligns us with God’s ongoing work in the world. My word of the year is cultivate, which resonates with me because it conveys the idea of intentional growth. Let’s explore what it means to cultivate connection.

Some Bible verses that help us cultivate connection

John 15:5 – I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

This verse speaks to cultivating a deep connection with God, which also extends to how we relate to others. Being in relationship means spending time together. Learning and applying. Finding sustenance and strength. Over time, good fruit comes out of it. What type of fruit? I can’t help but think of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. How beautiful.

Hebrews 10:24-25 – And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Encouraging each other and staying connected in community is a way to cultivate meaningful relationships. This passage beautifully describes a community growing together and helping each other become better. One mark of a strong (and good) relationship is that you bring out the best in each other. Isn’t that what we want in a partner? That type of friendship requires time, effort, meaningful conversations, and mutual support.

Colossians 3:12-14 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

There’s so much in these verses!! We looked at verse 12 closely when we talked about cultivating compassion. The next two verses in this passage flesh out the idea more. It paints a clear picture of what it means to cultivate connection. That means fostering love, kindness, and forgiveness in relationships.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – Two are better than one because they have a good return for their hard work. If either should fall, one can help the other up.

True connection is about supporting each other and growing together. When one person struggles, the other is there to listen, talk, and encourage. Whatever is needed to overcome the difficulty and grow through it.

Some practical ways to cultivate connection with family, friends, or your wider community

1. Be intentional about reaching out.

This is a great way to get started. It’s always nice to let someone know you’re thinking of them. Send a quick text to check in on someone. Alternatively, you can call just to chat—no agenda, just connection. If you’re not a phone person, try a handwritten note or card. Who doesn’t love unexpected mail from a friend? Initiating contact isn’t easy for everyone, but it’s essential for deepening a friendship. Why don’t we set a goal of reaching out to someone each week?

2. Prioritize quality time.

If the goal is to cultivate connection, then quality time is important. Setting aside time with your phone on silent while you share a meal or talk with family or friends is one possibility. Maybe play a board game, do a puzzle, or have a casual coffee date. Perhaps you can take a walk or a drive together. Something about a shared purpose makes conversation flow more easily.

3. Create shared experiences.

Planned activities provide opportunities to grow in relationship. Start a book club or read the same book as a friend and discuss it. Do a creative project together, like painting, cooking, or crafting. Or plan a simpler recurring hangout—like a monthly dinner or game night. The more time you spend together, the more comfortable you’ll be.

4. Ask meaningful questions.

Instead of just “How are you?” try:

  • “What’s been the highlight of your week?”
  • “What’s something you’re looking forward to?”
  • “What’s something that made you laugh recently?”
  • “What would put a smile on your face right now?”

These types of questions help people feel seen and appreciated. They help you get beneath the surface. If your friend seems down, the way they respond to these questions will help you figure out how to proceed. They’ll be more likely to open up if it’s clear you’re interested. Likewise, they’re more likely to share with you on a more personal level if you’re willing to share from your heart too.

5. Be present in the small moments.

We can tell when someone isn’t paying attention. That shuts down conversation pretty quickly. There are simple ways to keep the lines of communication open, and that starts with being fully present and engaged.

  • Make eye contact and listen without distractions.
  • Ask follow-up questions to deepen the discussion.
  • Give compliments and encouragement freely.
  • Offer help in little ways, like picking up a coffee for a friend or checking in when they’re having a tough day.
6. Join or create a community.

Join a club, class, or group around something you enjoy. Not only does this type of thing offer an opportunity to meet new people, the parameters of the event or group give you ready-made topics for conversation. Another idea is to volunteer with friends at a place you care about, like an animal shelter or food pantry. It’s a great way to bond while making a difference. Additionally, inviting people over can help you get to know someone better. Host a casual gathering, even if it’s just tea and cookies. Nothing fancy required.

7. Practice gratitude in relationships.

Making gratitude a habit strengthens a friendship. It prevents people from feeling taken for granted.

  • Express appreciation regularly—tell people why you value them. Be specific.
  • Keep a gratitude journal focused on people, not just things.
  • Give thoughtful (no need to be expensive) gifts that show you pay attention to their likes and interests.
  • When parting with a friend after some time together, be intentional about telling them one specific thing you’ve appreciated about the encounter.
joined hands in the background, "Bible verses and practical tips to help cultivate connection" in the text overlay

How do you plan to cultivate connection? What are your ideas?

I love the idea of being intentional with our connections. Our relationships bring fullness and meaning to life, so they’re worth the effort. Comment with things you’ve tried. I’d like to hear about it!

I first introduced cultivate as my word of the year in this post. I’ve also posted about cultivating authenticity, hospitality, hope, and compassion.

Other posts you may enjoy:

Fondly,

Crysti

the website local: circular with a pink center, "SS" in the middle, "Something Splendid" around the perimeter

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.