supporting friends through difficult times: the art of walking alongside

Supporting friends through difficult times is one of the most meaningful ways we can show our love and care. Whether they’re dealing with loss, illness, relationship challenges, or any other form of hardship, your presence and support can make a significant difference in their healing. However, it’s not always easy to know the best way to help. You may find yourself unsure of what to say, how to act, or even if you should step in at all. This article offers practical guidance on how to be there for your friend in a way that is both compassionate and effective. By understanding their needs, respecting their boundaries, and offering your support in thoughtful ways, you can help your friend navigate their difficult time with the assurance that they are not alone.

Should your friend need professional help, encourage them to reach out to a counselor. There are online databases that allow you to search by location, insurance, and issue. Some places to start are Psychology Today or Good Therapy. Referrals are also worth considering. Your state psychological association may be a good source of information as well. Regardless, remind your friend that it’s not unusual to meet with several therapists before finding one that is a good fit.

Tips for supporting friends through difficult times:

The importance of talking and listening

In my opinion, the gift of regular conversation is one of the most important ways of supporting friends through difficult times. Don’t feel like you always need to know exactly what to say, because often you are needed most as a sounding board to help them process what they’re going through. If possible, schedule a weekly call to your friend so that you can talk about life with them. Follow their lead regarding discussion of their hardship.

It’s easy to feel isolated amid troubles. Talking and listening create space for genuine connection and understanding. It’s an opportunity to offer validation for the difficult emotions they’re experiencing. Open communication fosters trust and strengthens the bond between you, letting your friend know they don’t have to face their challenges alone.

Since most of us are unsure what to say, sometimes no one reaches out to someone in need. They may really need a listening ear. That’s why I feel it’s so important to make an effort to keep communication going. It’s also valuable simply to be present with them. Sitting nearby while you both read or watch a movie is a special sort of comfort too.

Small gestures to show you’re thinking of them

Make a note of upcoming medical appointments, decisions they need to make, or hurdles they need to overcome so that you can send a quick text or note as these things come to pass. A simple “thinking of you when you have your follow-up appointment tomorrow” or “wishing you well as you make a final decision this week” will remind them of your support.

Be on the lookout for memes or comic strips that might make your friend laugh. Perhaps you could find an inspirational quote or an interesting article. Sending these types of things in a quick note, text, or email brings encouragement to your friend’s day.

Is your friend who is hurting part of a larger group–work friends, church friends, or neighbors? If so, consider organizing a group effort to show support. From time to time, my colleagues collected items for a “sunshine basket.” They would ask each of us to contribute a small item such as a snack, personal care item, puzzle book, magazine, etc. They would gather it all together and have us all sign a card. It was a lovely gesture.

Acts of service

Performing acts of service is a wonderful way of supporting friends through difficult times. Some suggestions include providing a meal or groceries, helping with chores, washing their car, or running their errands. If you’re supporting a friend from a distance, consider sending gift cards for these items. Better yet, arrange for a grocery or food delivery at a time when you know they’ll be home. I find it’s better to approach them with specific offers rather than asking them to let you know if you can do anything–they may be overwhelmed, and they may hesitate to ask.

I typically make extra of whatever I’m cooking or baking that week to share. Then a quick text saying, “I have extra soup and bread I could drop off this evening” is an easy offer for them to accept. Another option is to make freezer-friendly meals for a few days, freezing leftovers in single-serving containers. Then you can drop off a few when you’re out. I always try to take food in containers that won’t need to be returned. If you aren’t much of a cook, then consider grabbing sandwich fixings, fresh produce, and bakery items at the grocery store. Take the extra time to wash the produce and have it ready to eat when you deliver it.

Praying for them

If you’re a person who prays, this is a wonderful gesture. It’s such a gift to pray for someone, and it’s a meaningful way to support friends through difficult times. Your prayers don’t have to be long and involved–short and heartfelt prayers are effective too. Consider praying whenever they come to mind. Here are some prayer prompts:

• Ask for hope, peace, and healing.
• Pray for encouragement and sustaining strength.
• Request wisdom and clarity for them and for any medical staff who might be providing care. If it is a medical need, pray that caregivers would act with compassion and kindness.
• Ask that the situation would draw them closer to God rather than push them away.
• Pray for comfort and restorative rest.
• Ask God to bring them to your mind often and remind you to pray.

If you’re struggling with how to pray, consider reading my post about praying scripture.

Notice that many of these suggestions for supporting friends through difficult times come at little to no cost. Even if we don’t have extra money at the time, there are still many ways we can show encouragement.

The art of walking alongside

It’s not about leading or following,
but finding the rhythm in step with another,
a quiet presence in the noise of uncertainty.

There is no map for this journey,
only a willingness to be present,
to walk alongside,
and listen to the silence between words.

In the pauses, in the breath between tears,
there’s a language that doesn’t need speaking,
a hand offered without demand,
a shoulder of support.

It’s not about solving the unsolvable,
or brightening the unyielding night,
but holding space for the storm to pass,
and letting your warmth be a soft, steady light.

The art is in the knowing when to speak,
and when to remain in the comfort of quiet,
to allow pain its voice,
while offering the solace of companionship.

There’s no rush in this journey,
no expectation of quick healing,
only the gift of shared time,
of walking the path together,
until the way forward feels clear again.

What are your favorite ways of supporting friends through difficult times?

Perhaps better questions are: What are some things someone else has done for you when you were struggling? Which of those things made a difference for you? In the absence of such experiences, what gestures do you think you would appreciate the most? I’d love to hear your suggestions, because surely we could add to this list.

Final thoughts

Supporting friends through difficult times can have a lasting impact on their healing and well-being. While the path may not always be straightforward, your empathy, patience, and willingness to be present are invaluable gifts. Remember that every person’s journey through hardship is unique, and what matters most is your genuine care and commitment to being there in whatever way they need. As you offer your support, be mindful of your friend’s emotional and physical boundaries, and don’t underestimate the power of small, consistent gestures. In the end, your compassion and understanding can be a great source of strength and comfort.

Other posts you may enjoy:

• simple eco-friendly tips for a greener lifestyle
• blessings from brokenness: insights from Draw Near by Hadassah Treu
• a delightful adaptation of the classic novel North and South
• prayer walk at home: a complete guide
• The Dutch Wife by Ellen Keith: survival, sacrifice, and secrets

Fondly,

Crysti