cultivate authenticity

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My word of the year is CULTIVATE. I chose this word because it conveys the idea of intentional growth. Nurturing. Fostering. Encouraging. It’s also a versatile word, because there are many different qualities I would like to cultivate. Be watching for future posts around this idea. For now, let’s focus on how to cultivate authenticity.

What is authenticity?

Authenticity is the quality of being genuine, true, or real. Synonyms include truth, sincerity, guilelessness, factuality, genuineness, actuality, verity, and reality. It makes me think of being straightford, open, and direct. Antonyms include falseness, unreality, fiction, disingenuousness, insincerity, fantasy, and dreaminess. These make me think of being counterfeit or fake.

Why is authenticity important?

We would all answer this differently. In some sense, the authentic choice is also the healthy choice. Not being true to yourself can cause stress. There’s a disconnect between your words or actions and your beliefs. It would wear on you. Perhaps more importantly, it comes down to values. What is important to us? Do we value truth and honesty? Could authenticity in our work, leisure, and relationships translate into greater meaning and purpose? Let’s look at this in a few different ways.

What does the Bible say about how to cultivate authenticity?

Ephesians 4:25
Therefore, after you have gotten rid of lying, each of you must tell the truth to your neighbor because we are parts of each other in the same body.

Paul is encouraging the church to foster authenticity and honesty in their relationships. Since believers are interconnected, lying or being deceitful damages the body of Christ. This is not just about telling the truth but about cultivating an environment of trust and transparency where people are encouraged to be their true selves. It’s also a reminder that being truthful goes beyond words and extends to our actions, as they speak volumes.

Psalm 139:23-24
Examine me, God! Look at my heart! Put me to the test! Know my anxious thoughts! Look to see if there is any idolatrous way in me, then lead me on the eternal path!

In these verses, the psalmist is inviting God to examine their heart and life. There’s a humility in asking God to reveal the parts of our inner life that need transformation. This can be uncomfortable, but it’s also a deeply honest prayer. It’s about welcoming God into our lives and rooting out anything that hinders our relationships with God and others. It’s a prayer of openness, asking for God’s guidance toward a life that reflects God’s ways.

Romans 12:9
Love should be shown without pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to what is good.

Paul urges believers to love genuinely, without pretense. This speaks directly to the heart of authenticity—loving others in a way that reflects God’s love for us. It calls for an authenticity that transcends superficial kindness and goes deeper into truth and goodness. Loving genuinely also means standing firm against evil, rejecting what harms and embracing what is good. There’s a call here to cultivate a love that is both pure and transformative, grounded in God’s truth.

All three of these passages invite us to be authentic and truthful in how we engage with God and others. They encourage self-examination and the pursuit of genuine love, holding fast to goodness while rejecting the harmful and false.

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What are some other ways to cultivate authenticity?

Through self-reflection

Do you practice journaling? If not, are you willing to try it? It would be a good way to process your thoughts, values, and experiences. As you record your ideas, reflect on when you felt the most genuine and why. Were you fully present without judgment? How do you feel about your responses to various situations? Is there anything you’d do differently? Is there another way of looking at things? Do your actions and words align with your values? If journaling doesn’t work for you, maybe you can follow this same process in prayer or in a conversation with a trusted friend.

In our communication

Being authentic in our communication begins with being an active listener. Being fully present. Listening for understanding rather than to form a response. This builds connection in our relationships. When we share our thoughts and feelings, we can be honest with compassion. This relates to the idea of speaking the truth in love. We don’t need to avoid difficult conversations, but we can prepare ourselves ahead of time by thinking of ways to convey our message with kindness. When we’re wrong (it happens to all of us!), we can admit our mistakes freely and move on. Authenticity grows when we’re willing to say, “I was wrong.”

I appreciate Jefferson Fisher’s advice about healthy communication. Browse his videos for practical suggestions.

In relationships

It’s healthy for us to set boundaries. We can know our limits and communicate them kindly but firmly. If we surround ourselves with authentic people, it’s easier to grow in authenticity ourselves. We can seek out relationships where we feel free to be ourselves. Where we feel seen and appreciated. Where we care about some of the same things. Of course, that goes hand in hand with making an effort to understand and appreciate our friends for who they are. Encourage them to be real with us. Affirm them when they share struggles. We can encourage each other and help each other live into our values.

Through lifestyle choices

Maybe it’s a good time to go through our possessions and clean house a bit. Are there things we don’t need? Things that weigh us down? It might be freeing to clear out some of the clutter. We can keep around us only the things that really matter to us. While we’re simplifying our possessions, we might think about doing the same with our social media presence. Do we share meaningful content, or is it more like curated highlights? I need to work on this. Honestly, I don’t share very often in my personal social media accounts. I tend to give brief updates once a year (of the positive things). I also share milestones, like graduations and big moves. Maybe I should be more intentional about sharing struggles too. That would be a more authentic approach.

Through creative expression

Wouldn’t it be fun to explore some creative outlets where we can express ourselves honestly? What would this look like for you? Part of my birthday gift from my mom this year is a creative lettering workbook. I already plan to develop that interest. Obviously, I use this blog as a creative outlet as well. What else would work? Writing poetry? Getting involved at a local theater? Taking an art class?

What about the way we dress? We could dress in a way that creatively reflects who we are regardless of trends. I tend to value comfort and ease of care in my wardrobe, but I could also seek out pieces that showcase my spirit. Let’s wear what makes us happy. 🙂

What about transparency?

As I’ve been thinking about the idea of authenticity, I’ve been returning also to the idea of transparency. The two concepts fit together well. Transparency is about communicating freely and openly. Without a hidden agenda. Expressing truth in love. We can be honest about our failings and concerns. About our fears. Working on being more authentic and transparent deepens and strengthens our relationships. We can talk more about that in another blog post. 🙂